Headline: "Pain is Pain": Emotional Confession Sparks Conversation on Shared Struggles and Misunderstood Intentions.

In a heartfelt and deeply personal message shared on social media, an emotional conversation has surfaced that resonates with anyone who's ever felt unseen in their pain. The speaker opens up about the mutual loneliness, pain, and the fragile balance of emotional giving and taking in relationships.

Lines like “you came here alone, I came here alone” and “you’re struggling, I’m struggling” highlight a mirrored experience, where both parties are enduring their own battles but failing to recognize each other’s pain. This emotional symmetry underscores the truth that suffering is not a competition “pain is pain, sadness is sadness.”

The speaker passionately dismisses the idea of comparing emotional wounds, reminding us that everyone’s hurt is valid, no matter the scale. “It doesn’t matter if yours is bigger or mine is smaller,” they write, “it’s still painful to me.”

Perhaps the most striking moment comes when the speaker challenges their counterpart — likely someone named Kola, to step into their shoes. “Try wearing the shoe of trying to be intentional about someone but no matter what you do, it’s a problem… please wear it.” It's a plea for empathy, a call to understand how exhausting it can be to carry someone emotionally while fearing rejection or misunderstanding.

The final line is piercing: “Try wearing a shoe of trying to carry somebody in such a fragile way… you’re just holding on to the person.” It paints a vivid image of love held delicately, and the fear of letting go even when one is exhausted.

This post has triggered a wave of comments online, with many relating to the complex layers of emotional investment, misunderstood effort, and the struggle of balancing self-worth in relationships.

At its core, this message isn’t just a rant, it’s a reminder that behind every silent face may lie an untold story of pain, effort, and a longing to be understood.

Here's the conversation between Kola and Dede:

Kola - in front of the world and every other person, I look like a damn f00l.

Dede - okay, kola can we shut down? I don't care what are feeling  this whole "world"  thing, I feel like I am beginning to have enough of it.

Kola - what I am trying to say is... If there's like a respect whereby.... At the end of the day. I never said one time that you ever said liked me.

Dede - thank you

Kola - so I am not expecting you to do anything extra in anyway in regards to me or make me feel special in any way.

I feel like me and you were getting to a place whereby we were getting more comfortable with ourselves.

dede - yeah.

kola - the shit that happened on sunday is f#cking messed up regardless, that why i said i want you to think about it cuz if you don’t wanna do it, i respect it.

dede - do what exactly? be your close person in the house?

kola - i don’t wanna force you to be my close person in the house.

dede - exactly, please let me know when you are done, but i want you to speak, i dont wanna interrupt you.

kola - you know what, i feel like i’ve been speaking, speak.

dede - at the end of the day, i’m just a girl. 
• you’re alone - i’m alone. 
• you came here alone - i came here alone. 
• you feel like you need someone like that - i feel like i need someone like that as well. 
• you’re struggling - i’m struggling. 
• you’re giving - i’m taking too much. 
• you’re not feeling the worst pa!n - i am not feeling the worst pa!n. 
• pa!n is pa!n - sadness is sadness. 
its doesn’t matter if yours is bigger or mine is smaller, its still painful to me, so regardless of what you feel, there is a feeling from my side as well 

you think this is hard on you? okay try wearing my shoes then, try wearing the shoe of trying to be intentional about someone but no matter what you do, its a problem, please wear it. 

~ try wearing a shoe of trying to carry somebody and care for them, then it feels like...

- you're alone - I'm alone. 

- you came here alone - I came here alone. 

- you feel like you need someone like that - I feel like I need someone like that as well. 

- you're struggling - I'm struggling. 

- you're giving - I'm taking too much. 

- you're not feeling the worst pain - I am not feeling the worst pain. 

- pain is pain - sadness is sadness. 

It doesn't matter if yours is bigger or mine is smaller, it's still painful to me, so regardless of what you feel, there is a feeling from my side as well.

You think this is hard on you? Okay try wearing my shoes then, try wearing the shoe of trying to be intentional about someone but no matter what you do, it's a problem, please wear it.

~ try wearing a shoe of trying to carry somebody in such a fragile way that it feels like you are trying to drop the person but you're just holding on to the person, please wear it Kola.

Stay tuned✅